Following on from my last blog, I wanted to carry on talking about what love means to me. I mentioned how its permeates through all relationships and how Valentine's Day this year for me personally is a reminder of these beautiful connections we have that have kept us going through the pandemic.
One of the connections for me that has really grown, is the relationship I have with myself, and with each lockdown this has developed even more. What has also become more apparent is how interlinked that relationship between myself and my brand is, in someways it's been a mirror for myself and my personal growth.
I say I make jewellery for the 'Bold, Confident & Badass Woman' but for a long time that wasn't me, it was what I was aspiring be. Through-out these last 5 years, I have been on that personal journey with APL, and as I became confident with my craft, my narrative, my content, collections, so did my inner confidence personally. I became more sure of who I was as a woman; bold and audacious with my beliefs, willing to show that vulnerability and how it has helped me grow, being kind to myself- showing myself a whole lot of love by changing the narrative I was having with my body, my self-worth and comparing myself to others.
Being at home with my thoughts throughout these lockdowns, brought up a lot of suppressed trauma and insecurities that I have been avoiding by keeping busy with work & life. With each lockdown, these became more amplified, where it was finally time for me to be honest with myself by working through these demons. With a lot of self love, patience and support, I've been working through this.
Some of these may sound silly but honestly these were the things that have really helped my on my self love journey:
- Writing affirmations on my mirror; I used a white board pen, but you can have a sticky note or blue tack a piece of paper there, mine were- you are beautiful, you are confident, you are your true-self, you are magic. I read these out loud and looked at myself in the mirror as I said them when I was getting ready everyday (as I write this, it's also a reminder to myself I need to do this again!)
- Journaling; you see perfect, aesthetically beautiful journals on instagram where its all neat and organised, for me the pressure for it be really nice frustrated me. So in all honestly, mines a mess and in 4 different random note books. Some of it is so illegible as I use it as a brain dump space. It doesn't have to be pretty, its your sacred space to let go and be honest with yourself.
- Be kind and easy on yourself. Treat yourself how you would a little child, ease yourself through the tough days, nurture, love & uplift yourself like you do for others. I am so good at championing those around me, and the worst at doing it for myself! I have really been working on that dialogue I have with my younger self- Little Anisha, being kinder to her has helped me be kinder to myself today.
-Have some downtime for you- for me its a hot bath, yoga, meditation, eating the cheesiest piece of food I can find , or watching Ru Paul's Drag race with a nice coffee. You're allowed to have a break! (this is something I tell myself all the time as I feel so guilty for not working and being productive continually)
-Have a list of your achievements, no matter how small- if they mean something to you, note it down. Try and make sure they're personal achievements too and not just work. By having a list readily available to look over on days where you feel like you don't measure up, can act as a reminder of how far you've come. My list has been so helpful for me, I have it pinned up on my board in my studio.
This lockdown is even harder, and trying to focus on personal growth when everything feels so uncertain can be tough, but I urge you to try and make time for yourself, write down your achievements and reasons why you love yourself, have your favourite food, take a break- a real break, a whole day off and dedicate it to you.
Sending you lots of love this coming Valentines Day, however you celebrate it- I hope you find some time for yourself and to seek out those loving connections around you.